shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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