Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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