is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
