Do you still have your period?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
