Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.

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(310): View more from California

Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..

Fav 28 1518 6174
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(517): View more from Michigan

Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.

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(206): View more from Washington

I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians

(503): View more from Oregon

How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?

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(571): View more from Virginia

she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.

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(819): View more from Quebec

We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

How's work going?

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now

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