so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize