Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
