and you said cock pushups were impossible
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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