I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My penis needs a shock collar
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
