last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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