Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
