I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
