You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
