I think I just saw someone hide a body.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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