when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
