i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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