May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
