Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
