She is in my trunk
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
