Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
