my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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