that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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