wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
