i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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