I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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