did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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