every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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