Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Operation Purity has been aborted
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize