hell yes lets make some ravioli
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
