I bet he comes in French.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
