Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize