The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
