i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
