i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
