So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
