Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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