You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
