Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
