i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
