"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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