what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
