I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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