yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
