I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
