How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
