I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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