I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
