god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
