I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
