so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
