She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
