Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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