Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just forgot I was standing up.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
