she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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