After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
