Define "chronic" masturbator.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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