I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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