you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
