I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
