I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
